Hear me out

So you're teaching? In a secondary school?

Wow, that says a lot about the education system in Malaysia,

even a non-graduate is able to teach in schools.

Surprisingly, I've been getting this same response from friends and family after finding out that I'm a part-time teacher, but there's more to it. 

I feel partly responsible for indirectly giving our schooling system a bad name, so allow me to explain what I do, how I got it and why what everyone has been saying isn't true. 

Yes, yes I am teaching in a secondary government school as a teacher. I am teaching as a substitute for a teacher who will be on maternity leave for the next 3 months. 

When something like this happens (maternity leave, emergency leave, Hajj special leave, etc), the school recruits part-time teachers to take over classes. 

If not, students that are affected by the absence of these teachers will be left with an existing substitute teacher, and we all know what happens. Everyone ends up doing their own work throughout the entire period. 

In my case, the teacher on leave coincidentally has all the exam-preparing forms (3 and 5), so I felt so bad when my mum told me they were going to be left to learn by themselves.

The school I'm teaching in is already short on teachers, and if I don't come in, they'd all have to add more classes on their plate. 

I thought, y'know what. I'm bored and free, I can speak good-enough English, my mum's in that school if I need any guidance, why the hell not. 

What I am doing is not illegal, by the way. They actually do do this when there is a short of teachers.

I don't get paid nor am I recognised by the Ministry of Ed., I get paid by the school's PIBG. 

As for eligibility, let's touch on that for a bit, shall we. 

This school, and I speak for the majority of the students here, have an extremely low proficiency of the English language. They struggle and fail the subject. 

For someone who has been speaking English since I was born, has a mum in the school to help with lesson plans, abundance of books to refer to (hello, it's 2017 ya), I think I'm good for now. 

And besides, some of these kids are even illiterate. I come into class with material much, much lower than they should be learning. 

But at least they're learning. Had I not taken up this offer, they would have zero educational intake for the next 3 months. 

So rather than coming up with skeptical assumptions that the schooling system is undervaluing students of this nation by shoving any Tom, Dick and Harry into schools to teach, commend them for allowing such opportunities like these to happen. 

It's a win-win, the students don't spend this next critical few months completely alone, a non-grad gets to experience the dip into the working life. 

Also, there is a short of teachers, in general, in the Ministry of Education. My mum used to tell me how hard it was to get posted to schools because of the abundance of teachers.
Nowadays? Not so much. No one wants to become a teacher anymore.
Low pay, early mornings, dealing with children. No, thanks..

But personally, from someone who's only done it for a mere month or so, I can tell you that this job is the most rewarding of all.
The people we glorify and aspire to be, they are what they are because of this group of people we take for granted.
"It's their job, they're just doing what they do to get by", that's true. It is their jobs to teach, but those who teach with such passion and hope for nothing but the best for you, that's a choice they make everyday they step into school.
My mum says her heart is always so full when she bumps into an ex-student on the streets and they tell her they've gone on to become successful people.
I can't imagine how proud I'd be if it were to happen to me, but even when my students come up to me with a clear, full English sentence, I feel like I'm on top of the World.

Believe me, teaching is the most selfless job out there. They do what they do, expecting nothing in return except everything that benefits you.
To be apart of this group of people, even for just one summer, has humbled me.

So I highly encourage anyone that is presented with an opportunity to teach, do it.
Be it through the same way I did, or through organisations like Teach for Malaysia, do it & do it willingly, because chances are those who want it most desperately are those who don't ask for it.
Insha Allah, if given another chance to, I definitely would. 

A Year Abroad, pt.2

Where was I? 

Oh, right. Spring! 

This was my view to my classes everyday. I could barely see the ground anymore, it was filled with flowers as far as the eyes could see!

Don't mind the clouds. It was still pretty cold out, but that didn't stop flowers from blooming. 

But on many other days, the sun was out and shining as ever. 

One thing I've learned being away from Malaysia is that you really do appreciate things when they're taken away from you. Sun was one of them for me. 

Back in Malaysia, you would never hear me say I was grateful for the heat, but that was all I was wishing for in the UK. 

On some days, it got so hot that I went with my day.. sans jacket! That's major. 

We decided to go on a picnic & boating one day, but scraped the latter because of the hour wait. 

To be honest, all I thought that day was, "Finally, ice-cream!". My housemates always had ice-cream stocked in the fridge, even during winter. I could barely take cold water, ice-cream was definitely a no-go for me. So to finally have it.. Yes. 

We were the only ones on the park with 1) a blanket, 2) a spot under a shade.
The locals were having fun in the sun with very minimal clothing, no blankets, no sunglasses. It was like a round of "SPOT THE ASIANS", they're probably going all out because they get like, 1 week of sun a year. We, on the other hand, would all eventually return to Malaysia and get sick of it.
So we were all like, omg yay sun, alright now where's the shade. 

Not too soon after, we went to a Canola Field! I honestly was in such awe when I first saw them from the tram.
If you're in the Nottingham area, take the tram to the very last stop of the line, Clifton South.
From the stop, it's a 10 minute walk to the fields. You'll spot it when you're on the way to the stop, so you'll know exactly where to go.

If I'm gonna be really honest, the lot of us don't know if it's entirely legal to be on the field.. Haha!
It wasn't a proper tourist destination of any sort, we had to rough it out and figure things ourselves.
This is a proper plantation, so we made sure to minimise killing of any plant as much as we could, though I wish I could see we actually did..

Here's a tip if you're interested in going:
1) Don't wear anything black. Pants, shoes, bags. You'll leave with yellow marks everywhere. They're also pretty tough to get rid off. Wear yellow.
2) Don't wear any open footwear. Wear sneakers, and make sure they're your most comfortable pair.
3) I'd say if you're careful enough, you can ignore this. But if you're a natural klutz like yours truly, you might be unpleasantly surprised with some of our Ivy friends if you wear skirts. I wore cropped pants, and ended scratching my legs the entire time.

 

But nonetheless, it was worth the leg-scratching, nights spent scrubbing yellow pollen off your pants & going through suspiciously dangerous bushes. 

We got beautiful photos, and an even better time together. 

I'd say my second semester there was more eventful than the first. 

I traveled to more places and met more people. It was the season of Malaysian Nights, an event by Malaysian for Malaysians. Mostly theatre by students. 

I went on a road trip and stayed over Cardiff for a night with Hanna, Ewa & Iman - and the boys (too many of them to name). It was my first trip with them, and I'd say I laughed more than I talked. 

Cardiff was actually much better than I thought it was. Nadia always told me it was like a kampung, but they've got a pretty epic Zara. And I judge all cities by their Zaras. Cardiff, you're a pass!

Then it was Warwick. I went there alone and stayed with Sharul for 2 nights, one night attending the Malaysian Night at their very own Arts Centre. 

Warwick Uni was impressive, can't say the same about the actually city. 

I've actually been there before when Mama took Nadia and I there years ago. Mum's a (proud) alumni of the university, but even she ran to London every opportunity she could. LOL. 

Warwick's MN did it for me. Definitely the best, out of the ones I attended. And apparently it wasn't even their best year! If I stayed in Nottingham longer, I'd defo' join for my own. 

Although I stayed in Coventry the longest, I didn't take any videos except of some from the Malaysian Night. I really should've, I had so much fun. 

Sharul hosted my stay, and I got to meet so many people. Also, who knew playing Just Dance on PS4 would be the best thing ever ??? I need it in my life right now. 

Then it was back to actually facing the books. Before I knew it, assignments started to pile up and I had to cut down my drama-watchings to get them done. 

For Spring break, Hanna & Batu invited me for a trip to Portugal. It's only a bit over an hour flight to Porto, our first stop. 

I absolutely loved it there! Much more than Lisbon, if I've to be really honest. 

It didn't have the capital city vibe that I'm not too sure I like very much. It was so relaxed, so serene but with the Portuguese vibe. The whole city was colourful, vibrant and absolutely breath-taking, but if you just stopped and stared into the glistening water of Doura river, a sense of calmness just takes over. 

The Doura River

Thankfully for us, the weather was just amazing. Compared to the rainy, still-chilly Nottingham, this was such a breath of fresh air! The wind was so strong, but it stayed sunny throughout our trip.

I fell in love with the buildings in Porto. They were all pastel-coloured and just so authentically Europe. The tiles were never the same colour, and every block was different. 

And these were all someone's home! How pretty. 

This is Mr. Colin and Ms. Sharon. I don't actually know them, but they were both in KYUEM, Hanna & Batu's college. Mr. Colin taught History there. 

They've since moved to Porto (how cool?!), and we spent the day with them. Thanks to them, we were able to discover and wander around the city like a local. 

They were so kind to treat us for lunch, tea and dinner! The kindest people ever, I swear. 

Also! This picture was actually taken on a sidewalk. They had big billboard-like things that had cameras on them, so you could pose and send them to yourself via email. 

But of course, everyone else on the sidewalk was either in the photo as well, or were staring. Haha!

It was a quick, sweet trip to Porto, and then we were off to our 2nd and last destination: Lisbon. 

Lisbon was undoubtably beautiful, as we expected, but because it was the capital city of Portugal, it was much more commercialised and busy. And had way too many tour groups. 

Throughout our Portugal trip, we only went on walking tours. We thought, "How do we see every part of the city, not burn holes in our wallets and burn off all the food we had during the trip?". Answer's pretty simple; walking tours! They go on for 2 hours on average, and all the one's I've been on, the guides were simply hilarious. But of course, you have to take the weather into context. My walking tour in York during English "spring" was just asking for it. 

We spent a whole day in the city of Sintra. That's an hour train from Lisbon. You know the colourful castle that's on a hill everyone takes a photo with when they go to Lisbon? Yup that's not actually in Lisbon.. 

We didn't enter the castle, because I think that's a 30 euro entry ticket. Instead, we went to Quanta de Regalia. We found out after we left that the place was haunted. Hah. 

The area was acres and acres large, and it was actually someone's residence. A family of I think not more than 5 people. They had waterfalls in their garden, ok.. 

Then a Japanese took over after being abandoned for some while, then it was taken back by the Portuguese government to turn it into a tourist attraction. 

Can't lie, it was a bit creepy, but an experience nonetheless. 

After I got back from Portugal, I had to focus on my last few assignments & Korean exam. 

And before I knew it, I had only a week left in Nottingham! 

By this time, the sun had already come out and it was proper summer time. Took you a while, dinnit Nottingham.. 

The boys over at Beeston had their last potluck gathering, and I went with my Victoria Sandwich cake and hand-made curry puffs. 

It was so nice to see everyone one last time - not that I wouldn't see them again, but seeing everyone in one place all together. 

It was during the fasting month so we broke our fast together (at 9.20pm - geez..) and stayed back to chat and just chill. I think I stayed back for sahur too! 

The very next day, I took the first bus out to London, and that was my final goodbye to Nottingham. 

I stayed in London for 4 days with Zaim & Bazil before heading home to KL. Did some last minute shopping & one last look at UK. 

Flight back was unexpectedly empty, but smooth. Was greeted by Papa at KLIA since everyone else was at work. 

The moment I reached home, I slept for 8 hours LOL. I barely slept on the plane because I was watching all the Harry Potter series. 

13 hours seems very short when you're immersed into intense movies that are almost 4 hours long each. 

Now I'm home, and this is a incredibly belated blog post about my second half year abroad. 

I don't regret anything that happened, or didn't happen, when I was there. Although I wished I had a bit more time, I think a year was too soon to really get to meet new people.

But the people I was honoured to meet, I will forever cherish. 

Until the next time I do something as spontaneous as applying for a year abroad a week before applications were closed, see you!

xx

I taught, I learned.

"Tania! My friend asked if you want to teach at my school to ganti Pn. ** while she's on maternity leave"

"Me?? No lah, tak nak. I can't teach!" 

And two weeks later, I found myself in a school I've never been to, as a teacher. 

My mum's a teacher, has been for 20+ years now, and a few years ago she moved to this secondary school somewhere in Kuala Lumpur. Compared to the previous school she taught, this school gave her a bit of a headache, to say the least. 

She was from a school where most students could speak perfect English, essays were 5 pages long, decent family background, living in a prestigious postcode.  

Her new school was different. Students came from the rougher parts of this city, almost every student in her class were eligible for zakat, and most have lived without parents all their lives. 

By no means does that have any correlation with their proficiency in English, but the language was definitely not a priority for them. These kids start working full-time adult jobs at the ages of 14 to support their families, studying wasn't a priority for them - can you imagine a whole other language?

My mum warned me beforehand about it, so the morning of, I mentally prepared myself.

I practiced a couple of stern expressions in front of my mirror, just in case these kids don't listen to me. I had a script, I practiced it again and again. 

Yeah, alright.

This should be a breeze. 

No, sit down right now, or else get out of my class.

Yup ok, sounds garang enough, I've got this. 

Spoiler alert. Ended up saying none of those and more of a,

Err guys quiet please.. Guys.. please.

Boy, boy. Sit down please. Please stop wrestling your friends!

Put that bottle down pleaseeeeeee

Ok so maybe garang wasn't for me. So I tried a new tactic, I tried to become their friend. 

They listen to their friends, so if I were to be one of them, they'd listen to me. 

And true enough, they did. First order of business, please don't bring your textbooks.

I remember how useless they were, and what a pain it was to bring them to every English class. 

At first I just couldn't comprehend why it was so hard for them to learn English. It felt so simple to me. 

Then I put myself in their shoes. Learning a new language is tough, and you've got to get the right approach from the start for them to stick to it. 

Just like how learning Korean is for me. I might sound like an idiot to a Korean native, but to those who don't know the language, I was a freaking genius. 

Fortunately for me, the teacher I was taking over had a good mix of classes. A few first and second classes, and a couple of the back classes. 

I treated the first week as a trial and error to test their level, to suit the materials I would then have to prepare. 

As expected, it was a case of the two extremes. I had the first class of the form 5s, and they were a fun bunch to teach because 1) they were only 4 years younger, 2) I could use harder, mind-challenging materials that helped me too. 

But what, I feel, changed me as a person and a student, was teaching the weaker students. 

Sometimes I leave the classes with tears in my eyes, looking down while they say their standard "thank you"s, and sometimes I leave with such a warm heart and a smile.

I realised so many things teaching these kids. When I was doing my SPM back in school, I use to curse the ministry of education. Why is it so easy? How are we suppose to progress as a nation that prioritises English if I'm still learning tenses in form 5?! 

Then I realised. I may find it easy, but these kids - living in KL! Can you imagine those outside the city? - don't even know the difference between "an" and "a". 

But a teacher can only do so much for the students, and the rest is really up to them.
So when I teach classes that prefer to sleep through the entire 3 periods, I get so sad. Not so much because I didn't have the opportunity to teach, but because they don't give themselves the opportunity to learn.
And if they only knew how important the essentials are at this age.
Like I said, us as teachers can really do so much if they aren't willing to give it a go.
Even though there were many students like that, I never leave a class not teaching, even if one out of 26 students are listening.
That one student listening keeps me going. As the weeks went by, I realise that it's not that they don't want to do it, but they're so used to people giving up on them. I can't be one of those people who do.

This one boy, I won't name him, in one of the upper forms - he didn't know how to read, let alone write.
The class he was in, all the boys couldn't. But he stood out because his improvement within the four weeks I taught him was so impressive, I had to dedicate this paragraph to him.
Whenever I entered his class, I would have to personally give everyone a shake to wake them up from their slumber. But they'd continue sleeping anyway.
Not this one boy. He was always awake, and stayed awake.
He couldn't read, so I started there with some ladybug books I brought. Slow but steady progress.
I could still remember his face when he managed to read the entire 8-page book without my help.
Then he started speaking to me in English. He'll tell me to wait, as he constructs the sentence in his head for 5 minutes before finally saying,

"I want..go..t-tandas?"

 "Oh, you want to go to the toilet? Yeah, alright. But five minutes only!"

"Ah yes yes, I want to go to the toilet!" 

The next class, he could ask me the same question without hesitation and in full! 

Then I started asking him, "How are you? Well?", to which he now asks me every single time he sees me outside class. It's so cute!

Ok cue the music, here's the sad story behind his illiteracy, but also his burning desire to learn. 

He never knew what a home was. At the age of 7, his parents gave him up to a home because they had no money to raise him up. He had no other siblings.
He stayed with his grandfather, who was equally as poor but willing to take him in, but eventually went into a home after the passing of his grandfather.
The home he was in was specifically for children with parents whom are still alive, but could not afford their children's living costs.
He told me he has seen some of his friends in the home get visits from their parents during result day.
It's been a good year and a half since he saw his mom, and he doesn't have high hopes seeing her anytime soon, but when he does, he wants his mom to brag about him to everyone.

Not knowing whether or not your parents want to see you, but having so much hope they do.
I couldn't hold my tears (thank God the other students were fast asleep), and so I asked him if he was okay, to which he replied, "Takpa, cikgu. Saya okay. Dah dekat 10 tahun dah ni, takkan belum terbiasa dah". 
He said that with such a steady tone, as if he has been telling himself that for so many years to actually believe those words. I know for a fact he is, and probably will always be, really sad.

When I told my mom this, she said she has heard sadder, more heart-breaking stories.
I used to always judged these notorious kids so quick, but actually getting to know them has taught me so much about them, and myself.
There really is more than meets the eye, and they really aren't as frightening as they seem.
The more I taught, the more I learned; about people, about myself, and about life.

Hardships can be a blessing in disguise to some, but sometimes it breaks people.
And feeling broken can turn people into stronger beings, like the boy I talked about, and sometimes it takes you down a bad, slippery slope, and you end up becoming someone you never wanted to be.
Some of these kids I teach, they do what they do (tarnish their school records) because that's the only way they get attention from their parents. Some do it because they have to seek attention from somewhere or someone else.
People do things for a reason, no one just becomes who they are without any influence.
I get these kids, they've got to let it out somewhere, and since they - by law - are required to be in school most of their youth, they let it out here.
So all we have to do now is to understand, and give them enough attention so they wouldn't need to express their desperation for it on other things.

The teacher I replaced is now back from her leave, so I'm currently jobless.
But another teacher will be going off for her maternity leave (some kind of baby boom happenin' at that school..), and I'll be restarting teaching the last week of this month.

And contrary to how I felt before I started, I absolutely can't wait.